Friday, July 23, 2004

This Week’s “Joke of the Web” Site

I happened to catch Rep. John Culbertson, (R) Texas, on Lou Dobbs Tonight saying that Arabs are coming over the border, changing their Arab surnames to Hispanic surnames and then “blending in with the illegal alien population”, specifically:

 The issue today is, we are at war with individuals trying to sneak into the country under false identities. And I have new information from federal law enforcement officials in Texas who are very alarmed by a growing trend of Islamic individuals coming into the country, changing their Islamic surnames to Hispanic surnames, blending into the thousands of illegal aliens coming into the country.

What a trick. I suppose that, to Culbertson, those monkeys not only all look alike, they all SOUND ALIKE. Granted, there’s probably some Arabs who also speak Spanish, probably more than a few. Maybe even a few who speak it flawlessly, without an accent. But, um… well, what are the chances that an Arab speaks fluent, accent-less Spanish AND is a member of a terror cell. Oh yeah, plus we have all the cultural considerations.

To me, what the airhead is saying is, “These illegal spicks are too goddamn stupid to tell an Arab in their midst.” Really. Think about this. Culbertson honestly believes that illegal aliens would be oblivious to an Arab posing as a Latino.

Ask any Spanish-speaking Latino, Hispanics know accents. Furthermore, the illegals are a pretty tight community. I’d pretty much bet the kid’s change jar that Culbertson didn’t talk to anybody but other white boys about this whole “thing”.

It could work; they all look alike to me. Culbertson and the rest of those freepers, I mean.

All of em’ looking alike has to be the focus of the rationale because it would have to be impossible pull it off (realistically), at least on a large scale. Al Qaeda (or whomever) would have had to start schooling hundreds of operatives in the Spanish language and Latino culture – and start this evil plot almost two decades ago - with the intention that those operatives would eventually slip over the border to pose as an illegal Mexican laborer.

Wow. If you thought coordinating hijackers to fly airliners into buildings was tactical genius, the whole brown-skinned confusion-thing is a master-stroke.

A few years back, before the war, I can’t really remember thinking, “Are you so stupid that you think the rest of us are going to believe that HORSESHIT?” at least not as much since a little before the war. But now it hits me, well, like today, TWICE A DAY, maybe more on other days. Back in the day, Falwell or some other intellectually impoverished clown would mouth off and pretty much ninety-percent of the population kind of laughed the whole thing off. Tinky-Winky is gay, OK Jerry, thanks for the heads up, I’ll tell my 2-year old and she’ll be as concerned as me.

Reaching for a two-year old’s mentality, I guess. It has a sense of a two-year old’s sense of uninformed plausibility, “Did you do that?” “No, it fell.” “How did it fall?” “I dunno, Tinky-Winky pushed it!” “Where are the WMD’s?” “I dunno, somebody said they were there and maybe were thinking about WMD-like programs.”

Twice today, I said, and although Annie Jacobsen didn’t flip out over Arabs on an airplane today, it was today that I heard about this:

The passenger, later identified as Annie Jacobsen, was in danger of panicking other passengers and creating a larger problem on the plane, according to a source close to the secretive federal protective service.

Jacobsen, a self-described freelance writer, has published two stories about her experience at, a business advice web site designed for women.

“The lady was overreacting,” said the source. “A flight attendant was told to tell the passenger to calm down; that there were air marshals on the plane.”

The middle eastern men were identified by federal agents as a group of touring musicians travelling to a concert date at a casino, said Air Marshals spokesman Dave Adams.
I read the article (heh) and you’ll notice I didn’t link the site. There’s the URL if you want to go there and read her harrowing account (brrrrrrrrr) but trust me – I’m positive you’re not as stupid as her – you’ll find several pages of hysterical uninformed plausibility. Oh yeah, Tinky-Winky was on the plane, too, off to Massachusetts to marry his long-time partner, Top Cat.

Overwhelmed by my own pre-adolescent mentality, I was moved to write the following email to the editors of womenswallsteet:

RE: Terror in the Skies, Again?

I'm amazed your site continues to run this bilge water (equally amazed that you'd consider Ann Coulter a legitimate citation). It's all over the web how this cunt over-reacted. I'd think you'd have a vested interest in creating an aura of credibility for yourselves but maybe readers gullible enough to buy Jacobsen's histrionics are exactly the kind of rubes you need to sign up for your half-assed service.

Congratulations on becoming this week's "Joke of the Web" site!
So I throw a firecracker, they throw a turd; same behavior but I’m smarter. Obviously the Air Marshals were too smart to be anything but pissed at Insane Annie. Maybe I was too harsh on womenswallstreet, they’re acting out of enlightened altruism and running Annie’s crack-up only to prevent her from falling further over the edge. Yeah, and there are Arab implants “blending into the thousands of illegal aliens coming into the country,” and fooling all of em'. Nope, the only ones that are getting fooled are stupid white boys and crazy white women on airplanes... uh, yeah.


OK, you gotta check this out:

During a prime time press conference on April 13, President Bush was asked to name a mistake that he has made since taking office and what he has learned from it. Bush, who was unable to answer the question, admitted "maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with [a mistake]." But weeks later, Bush still hasn't answered the question. In the interest of assisting the President with this surprisingly difficult task we've compiled this list of 100 mistakes he has made since taking office.
 from At least a two-year old can admit she's wrong.

 Also, you can save youself $10 and get the 9/11 report from Patridiots (tell em' sorry for stealing bandwidth) but you'll spend more than that if you print it out.


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