Monday, July 05, 2004

Bring Out the Spooks

Gawd... I mean God but it rankles me when the Presidential campaign gets to be about this: "Family values". That Gawd-Thing that leads candidates to thump their chests self-righteously, jest like me de-voot Katlick mudda at Mass, and makes me wonder, as it did when I watched me mudda do it then... "Why?"

Kerry, at some 4th picnic in Iowa, defending his stand and beliefs,
"I oppose abortion, personally," (Kerry) told the newspaper. "I don't like abortion. I believe life does begin at conception. But I can't take my Catholic belief, my article of faith, and legislate it on a Protestant or a Jew or an atheist ...who doesn't share it. We have separation of church and state in the United States of America."

made me pause (briefly) and remember why I supported Dean at first - I knew Dean wouldn't have been stupid enough to say "I believe life does begin at conception." I mean, Gore lost my vote to Nader in 2000 because (among many other things) I couldn't forgive Tipper and the whole PMRC fiasco, smacking as it did of walking into the Moral Majority's playpen. But I see what Kerry was trying to do and I am so ABB at this point, I put my dudgeon aside.

Exceptionally more vile was the Rethug response:
The Bush campaign reacted strongly to Mr. Kerry's statement of personal opposition to abortion. "John Kerry's efforts to mislead voters in the heartland are offensive," said Kevin Madden, a Bush campaign spokesman. "His rhetoric is at odds with a long record of opposing common-sense measures like the ban on partial-birth abortion."

probably effective for the few million or so shitwits who'll shell out cuz' Falwell said so but screw them - their minds are made up (and they're welcome to them hush puppies). Funny how Mr. Madden didn't finish up with just how far Whistle-Ass goes with his commitment to anti-choice and include stem-cell research but, uh, that's a little contentious in the Senate right now, so...

Put the Gawd thing aside for a moment and put your money on which candidate would outscore the other on a 10th-grade Science exam. Uh huh; see? Christ, conservatives claim to know the value of a Dollar... add in charisma (a quality Gore sorely lacked until he grew a sack this year) and you get an idea of how the debates are gonna' go. It's pretty clear where the smart money is.

Besides, the lugnuts are popping off of this administration like Limbaugh's shirt buttons, so George is gonna' be rattled. In fact,
I see a relapse coming, a huge sack of blow and lots of Jack Daniels.

Coked to the gills and drunker n' Aunt Ginny at Bingo, George'll appeal to gawdamighty several times in the debates (I'll take book on THAT FACT as well, the gawdamighty thing, at least), prattle a bit about economy and taxes; Prolly drag out Reagan's corpse and jangle it around like some fetish; and then he'll go to the last resort of any geekin', stinkin' scoundrel.

Well, I say bring on the war records and hours spent wrapped in the flag. Hell, bring out the skeletons, the spooks, and the cooked books. Bring em' on (yeah, people tend to get hurt REAL BAD whenever that's said, see?), Skippy, the only way Kerry can fuck this up is if he makes it look like he's bullying a retard.

When you, on principle, value a zygote over a soldier, what do you think you're going to look like? You're gonna' appeal to your creator for some intervention, light a candle for the dead, jabber mindlessly like an Alabama Baptist. You're gonna' have to do some toot and a couple a' shots before you heading out to the lions. You're going to get your ass kicked, George, you might as well break out the Brillo and spark up the Bic NOW.

If Kerry's gotta' wear his religion on his sleeve, at least you know you that sleeve won't be around your neck dragging you to the river. Kerry's got his "family values" and you know he isn't going to tell you to Go Fuck Yourself when you ask him what those values are. At this point, Kerry doesn't need God's help, the Bush camp does, and I don't think God's up to the challenge. If God indeed looks out for idiots, drunks, and little children, then God has got himself a hat trick.


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